Food & Petrol Below the Mason-Dixon Line: Consider The Waff

Posted Monday, October 15, 2018

Greeting fossil foodies! My travels have me reporting from The Root Bar in Asheville NC, across from my current abode, The Motel 3 ½ and steps away from one of the 2100 locations of that highway staple, WAFFLE HOUSE. I do have a few connections to The Waff. 

As a young adult (?) my pal, Mike S. went to school in Beantown where we, heads full of, well it was the 70’s so guess, often made our way to The W late night after a day, evening or several of them to chow. ( open 24 hours, every one of them) We cleverly deduced that we needed food to continue our rabble rousing. I have no specifics from then save a few hazy vignettes of odd happenings. Let’s let those lie.

Many years later, at the dawn of Cafe Miranda, one of our first employees, great friend and one hell of a cook, Miss I we shall call her, spoke of her time working at The W. As a line cook and food service lifer, the tales she spun of not only the job, but being in a college town and dealing with inebriated frat fellows were epic. And scarey. We will leave the stomach content spewing, lame tipping entitled to your imagination. The work though. Oh my what they do. Now those that have sat at the counter at my beloved Cafe M have seen super Hi performance line cooks in action. What i have done when i was on that line and what the team does now, both back and front of the house is nothing short of Olympic. I share the same admiration with the staff at any Waff.

I often say we at Miranda do fine food at short order pace with 3 chefs to do what anywhere else would take 5 or more. Kudos Andrew & team. Ditto to the Front. So do yourself a favor and also sit at a Waff and watch. Fast? Yep. Craft? Yep. Consistent? Of course. Team work? Like a military operation. Ok, how so? The servers are to the point, ask how y’all are ( in the south) and drag an order out of you post haste. We call it “Turn & Burn” IE: Turn the table and move ‘em out… Don’t ask for the wi-fi password and linger. The servers write your order on a yello sheet, and CALL the order to the cooks. Ok, what the H does that mean. In most current kitchens the servers enter an order into a computer and it prints into the kitchen. As an aside, many a cooks nightmares involve the sound of that printer never stopping…imagine…. These cooks get no printer. It goes into their heads. During my one of several visits, my server said that they were very busy. I asked what does that mean? 1400 guests in 6 hours. Right, nearly 4 a minute. Try that at home.

Amongst us cooks, breakfast is THE most difficult. Example: You order eggs, How? Over easy, medium or hard. Dropped, scrambled, soft or hard, poached and so on. Sides? Bacon, Crispy or slimey (my fave), sausage link/patty, ham, scrapple? Home fries, grits? Toast. White, wheat, rye, cinnamon raisin, English muffin, biscuit and I dearly hope you get it. Yes, no print, in the head and i haven’t even got into waffles, french toast and the Waff staple, Hashbrowns. Noted as “World’s Leading Server of REAL Hashbrowns”. Their caps & underline BTW. More on the vaulted HB. Have them SMOTHERED w/ onions, COVERED w/ cheese, CHUNKED w/ham. Also available with tomatoes,peppers, jalapenos, mushrooms, country w/ sausage gravy or as Miss I suggested in live e mails while seated, TOPPED w/ Bert’s Chili. FYI Bert’s is trademarked.

Ahh yes, comfort food at full volume. 11. As a fan of the Diner i respect this chain. Love my Jersey- Pennsylvania spanikopita to spaghetti to sirloin diners with the revolving dessert case. That is one thing, this is quite another…As for chains, Forget the Grand Slam and head to The Waff for THE ALL STAR BREAKFAST. Waff, grits, eggs, toast & meat of choice. Angioplasty discount included. I haven’t even got into sandwiches, steaks(!) and lunch items. Here you go Petrolistas, why don’t y’all do that and report back to Food & Petrol? Challenge time kids!

Allright. I have had my Spoaty Oaty craft brew from the Appalachian brewery, wrote to you personally and issued a challenge.

Game on.

I thank you all for the time, the indigestion you will suffer and your sharing of these rants.


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